I was thinking about the girls I worked with at the hospital before all the MS crap hit the fan so to speak. How much I appreciated them as weeks before I was to, unbeknownst to me, stop working. I got coverage for many shifts due my husband and daughter being in the hospital for surgeries and hospital stays all in the same week. So, I was sad. I miss them in my life. I am happy to be in touch with some on FB and we see what’s going on with each other. I get sad, thinking how this damned disease took so much from me. We didn’t plan life this way! I should still be working and be a part of it! I get angry at the disease.

Then, I am not sad and angry. I think how now, my journey is more personal than that. I work, just not how you think. Yes, there is the I’m a mom so that’s a job (add in homeschooling!). My job also is to push thru my day, manage my symptoms to function the best I can each day. I learn to ask for help. I learn to take help offered, even when I don’t want to (like when my mom isn’t feeling good either and is also trying to not stress about my grandmothers health too). I do this so I can be mom, wife, daughter. It is a job I don’t get paid for, but is crutial to me and my family. I do get to have fun! I still have rules like any job. I don’t like them all. Napping is a rule for me that, if I break I can pay for dearly. Sounds great right? Naps!! Except if I miss one, or rarely two, I can be in bed for a full day or two not able to get up. Not napping means bad bad things for my body.

I do miss my work friends. I appreciate having had them in my life, to learn from what God placed us together for. I am grateful for it. I like we can keep in touch, there to help with a question if we have one (FB is great for this). Miss the ones I can’t. Our lives and the people in it change. And that’s ok. Change is ok. Stasis is ok. We don’t get either the way we want. That’s ok too.

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